Suckitude Olympics

Word up to my sisters, The Barren-ess is calling out:

It's been quiet around here lately. I wish it were because everything were going so swimmingly, so Michael Phelpsingly, for our Mafia. But I suspect we are just ranting in solitude. Not good. Let's dive in, shall we? We'll call the event Synchronizing Ranting, and everyone who participates gets a medal. Maybe the petiter among us (ie, me)could even get a chest to put it on. I know, overreaching...

1. So, work sucked today. The overnight software "upgrade" turned out to be a downgrade, and at noon they ended up de-installing it -- causing all work done all morning to be lost, whether it was saved or not. Luckily, it was only our BUSIEST DAY ALL WEEK, so it didn't affect us much at all. Not. I didn't have time to eat lunch until about 5. I left an hour late. And where did I have to go after work?

2. To the grocery store. Not usually a big deal. But I was there to buy baby food. Except I have NO BABY. Why was I buying baby food? Well...

3. It was for my DYING CAT, in hopes it will help her get enough nutrition in her to keep her alive for another day, week, please god month.

4. The checker saw my five sad little jars of turkey and broth, chicken and broth, and Gerber beef, and chirped, "How old is the little one?" God help me I actually said out loud, "It's for a dying cat." I am such a b****. She offered sympathy, rang me up, then said, "Have a nice day." I looked at her. "I'm sorry about your cat," she added.

5. I'm sick of acting like such a bitch (can I say that word here?). Worse, I'm suck of feeling bad for acting that way. Usually I feel just overwhelmingly sad. Today I tried feeling angry. Turned out it's not much different, but I suppose the variety isn't bad. Maybe it will improve my complexion, because...

6. Sometimes if you are having a good hair day or are wearing a kickass outfit or some such, it will help you fend off a day's rottenness. No such luck for me today. My hair's okay, but... I'd say I have a zit, but that really doesn't capture the scale of this deformity. It's on my cheekbone, and it's a THREE-DIMENSIONAL object. First it was convex -- by which I mean tall. Tall enough that I COULD SEE MY FACE WITHOUT USING A MIRROR. If I rolled my eyes down and a little to the left, I could actually SEE this thing on my face. That is just wrong. The thing was the Mount Everest of complexions. The Pyramids of Egypt transplanted to my face. Now it has become concave, by which I mean it looks like the Grand Canyon. It's a crater, like a meteor hit. Now I know what happened to the damn DINOSAURS: The Earth got a freaking pimple like this on its surface.

7. My university called to ask me for money tonight. Apparently they haven't noticed my degree is in CLASSICAL STUDIES. A fine enough education to be sure, but not really one that pulls in much, you know, income. Even if you AREN'T up to your ears in IVF debt. I couldn't be mean to them, though; I used to be one of them: Telemarketing for the university is the only job I ever had that I quit by just not showing up for a scheduled shift. I would've been fired soon, because I was nearing the end of my training period and I knew I would never be able to make the quotas. But still, what a crappy thing to do. Clearly I have guilt issues since that was at least 15 years ago...

8. Tonight's Olympic events? Synchronized diving, which has to be the second dumbest sport ever invented (after solo synchronized swimming), and men's beach volleyball (in which the men compete wearing long shorts and loose T-shirts, they look like freaking NBA hoopsters, very unfair since the women wear itty-bitty bikinis -- hey, I want my eye-candy too!). Later the women's gymnastics will be on, thankfully. I love gymnastics. But I sure hope our girls do better than they did on qualifying day; that was just ugly.

9. All this, and I haven't even started the lupron yet. If any of you have been on that you know it is the devil's drug. I (and my poor husband) have that joy later to look forward to later this week...

I could probably go on ranting all night, but I'll step off the podium here and let y'all join in. What are your rants of the day/week/month/year/life?

--The Barren-ess