rant. noun. a loud bombastic declamation expressed with strong emotion.
Have a rant about your day, your month, your year? All rants are welcome and no judgment will happen. However no ranting about specific bloggers. No ranting about specific clinics unless it is in the abstract. Don't be a hater. Just a ranter.
28 comments:
I just started posting on a chat room for people undergoing art. and I just realized that every single person already has a kid. not just "a kid" even- most are trying for a 3rd. or trying for a boy. and i just want to ditch them because it sucks that in the middle of talking about our cycles they swap stories aboout fucking toddlers.
yo bon is gangsta yo!
Damn, bon, I'm so sorry. :( Don't blame yourself for having hope, though. Hope is a tricky bitch, that's for damned sure. I'll have to go over to your blog to get a full update. Just know that I freakin' hate this for you, too.
Bon, I'm really sorry. Don't feel bad for having hope; if we didn't have it how could we continue to try? Or even to get up out of bed each day? Hope, can't live with it, can't throw it off a cliff.
OK, here's my rant: I'd just like to say eff you very much to the folks who sent me the nice letter saying they are "sorry my experience was not optimal and for all the frustration and anxiety I have suffered" -- concerning my myseteriously missing embryo -- but that it isn't their fault and I still have to pay for storage and transport of said embryo.
I knew it would be like this. Both sides point the finger at each other and just say "sorry ma'am." What utter crap. Crap crap crap.
Kate, are you shittin' me? Okay fine - we knew they were not going to accept responsibility for losing the embryo but they're still charging you for transport and storage of an embryo that THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE??? What the hell? What are you going to do next? I'm so sorry you have to go through this shit. This feels even worse than a negative cycle, because at least with that there was a chance. Not knowing what happened to your embryo and no one accepting fault for it - well that's just fucked up all around.
(((HUGS)))
Will somebody shoot me? I don't want to go to this baby shower tomorrow. The one for my friend who got knocked up while doing drugs and drinking heavily. Who figured that she couldn't get pregnant because of all her hard living ways so she had unprotected sex. Who is having a little girl. It's not fucking fair.
Had DH's niece here tonight with her 3 kids (she is 32 years old) and it was GREAT!
Her sister who is 26 I think, if not 26 not much older, has 6 SIX kids, two sets of twins ALL NATURALLY born, love it!
Thank you to my sister for volunteering to throw her friend a baby shower at her house (where I'm living)and then saying oh come on we'll have fun. No I won't have any fucking fun. I'll be on BCP's that make me feel like shit in what has been so far a vain effort to procreate. I'd rather be strapped naked to an ant hil than listen to...oh she/he was an oops, oh don't have kids you don't know how lucky you are, oh my labour was this....blah, blah, blah....
People who are pregnant and are still wailing and gnashing at exactly the same rate as while TTC.
People who have had a perfect healthy pregnancy and perfect healthy baby and are still wailing and gnashing at exactly the same rate as while TTC.
At least it clarifies that, for some people, the inability to conceive is not the problem.
Not that one shouldn't be able to express blah blah yawn, but c'mon, it's like complaining to an audience of hungry people that your steak is overdone. Be at least a little grateful. Or get a new fucking blog and don't try to take your audience with you.
Friend emailed me to let me know about pregnancy. Yay! I confided in her that I too was pregnant, albeit only slightly.
Well, I miscarried. A few weeks later I wrote her a light, casual note -- "just wanted to let you know that it didn't work out -- disappointing, but so common, am hopeful for the future, etc."
She? Hasn't written back. I guess maybe she thinks it's contagious.
My best friend and I are no longer speaking. She got pregnant by a married man and had an abortion. I've been in IF hell for 4 years. She knows all about it and even lived with me (us) for part of the 4 yrs. I tried to be understanding and supportive. She has cut off communication and won't call me back. I can't even blog about this. I'm angry and hurt and I can't fucking believe this situation.
Had my 6th WTF today. Took the afternoon off but was too sad to even shop. You know it is bad when not even Nordstrom's can cheer a girl up.
I have to go on BCP this month to get rid of a cyst from last month that I wouldn't have even had if it wasn't for the RE putting me on Clomid which is supposed to help our chances two months from now.
What. A. Bunch. Of. Shit!!!
Today my mom said try not to dwell on your IF. She who has three children doesn't quite get it!!!!
I am scared to death that what may be our only chance for the next few months to a year will fail. And I will fall into a hole of being truly hopeless with no way out or options. And I am convinced that on top of that I will have to endure another couple of pregnancies in my way too close for comfort office. I don't think I can do that. This NEEDS to work because I am too scared of not being able to hold my own baby.
Is the VMB just visited by non-chicks? I sure as hell hope so, because this isn't something I'm willing to post on my own blog.
Is it right to exclude the pregnant-but-still-scared? Because I am feeling really bad about how upset I am by my pregnant bloggy friends. I thought it would be different online. I thought that I wouldn't be as jealous, or think that someone was less deserving because she hasn't gone through as much shit as I have, but I was dead wrong.
I wish I was a bigger person, but fuck it, I'm just not. Turns out that, unless someone's been through as much ART hell as I have, I resent them when they get pregnant. (Exception: apparently I'm not mad at women going through really scary pregnancies.)
Is there anyone else out there that just needs to vent about our pregnant sisters out there in the blogosphere??? 'Cause I'm losing it here!
- EM/C
EM/C you are not alone. I don't resent everyone, but there are a lot of bloggers that start a blog, talk about how hard it is for them, they have an IUI a month in and get knocked up before they have five posts.
Some days I resent everyone who gets a *chance* to try. Even when they fail. How shameful is that.
I'm seriously afraid that if this IVF doesn't work I will become unhinged. For real. I just don't know what will be left of me.
Have you ever wanted to kick a pregnant woman's ass? One pissed me off real bad the other day. I seriously was wishing harm to her. Should I feel bad about that? Cause I really don't.
Thank you for your prayers, girl! I need them right now. i know I will come out of this funk; I just need some time to heal those deep wounds related to infertility. I have to have hope before I begin my next cycle.
Thank you for listening!
It's a good thing that you are providing an area like this on your blog...a place for women to listen to and support each other.
Hi Kimberly,
I dont have a link to Nikki's blog, would you mind giving it to me?
Thanks.
And Thanks for your support.
so hey you know what's really fun? when you're talking with your best friend about how scared you are that you didn't get very many eggs and most of them didn't fertilize, even with ICSI, and she's all "hang on, gotta go do mommy duty".
i know she does. but it still sucks.
It does suck.
I'm the one who posted this:
Anonymous said...
I'm seriously afraid that if this IVF doesn't work I will become unhinged. For real. I just don't know what will be left of me.
July 7, 2008 11:44 PM
It didn't work. I'm finding out what's left of me. It's not pretty.
Oh I love this concept...I'm totally coming back to rant.
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