It's been quiet around here lately. I wish it were because everything were going so swimmingly, so Michael Phelpsingly, for our Mafia. But I suspect we are just ranting in solitude. Not good. Let's dive in, shall we? We'll call the event Synchronizing Ranting, and everyone who participates gets a medal. Maybe the petiter among us (ie, me)could even get a chest to put it on. I know, overreaching...
August 13, 2008
Suckitude Olympics
It's been quiet around here lately. I wish it were because everything were going so swimmingly, so Michael Phelpsingly, for our Mafia. But I suspect we are just ranting in solitude. Not good. Let's dive in, shall we? We'll call the event Synchronizing Ranting, and everyone who participates gets a medal. Maybe the petiter among us (ie, me)could even get a chest to put it on. I know, overreaching...
June 18, 2008
The Rant Room is open
Have a rant about your day, your month, your year? All rants are welcome and no judgment will happen. However no ranting about specific bloggers. No ranting about specific clinics unless it is in the abstract. Don't be a hater. Just a ranter.
Dontcha "Wish" you had mad rhymez like this?
Since we are all GANGSTA BITCHEZ here yo, I think we need anotha song and it goes a little somethin' like this...hit it...
June 13, 2008
Welcome to the Mafia
mafia (noun) - any small, powerful, or influential group in an organization or field; clique.
blogger (noun) - a person who keeps a Web log (blog) or publishes an online diary
Vet Mafia Bloggers (noun) - an embittered, but shrewdly humorous gangsta offshoot of the infertility blogging community who, in response to an assclown fertile, might say things like, "just know, I will cut a bitch."
Had a bad day and need the support of your posse? Do you just need to vent and get some of the anger out of your system? Founded by The Original Gangstas, the Vet Mafia Blog is a place where you can come to lay the bad shit out and know you'll have the understanding from people who know. Sarcastic wit and snarky comments about fertiles and infertility dominate this 'hood.
Basic VMB information:
- Colors: Wear to Make Aware pomegranate and black (to represent the infertility suckhole)
- Hand Sign: middle fingers up, hands crossed at the wrists into a V shape
- Turf: the RE's office, bars, home, the blogosphere
- Song: The Vet Song
- Slogan: ??? New Mafia memebers - we need your help with this
How to Submit Posts to the Blog: This place belongs to all of us. If you'd like to post an entire entry to the blog, email it to us at theoriginalgangstas@gmail.com. Please let us know if you'd like to submit the entry anonymously.
Commenting: This community runs on comments; it's how we give and get support, which is the whole purpose for the creation of this space. Come if you need a laugh. Come if you need a hug. Come if you need to vent. Come if you need someone to cry with you. Come if you feel like you might cut a bitch. This is your gang, your group of biznatches who you know will have your back.
Our first mission as a group is to decide on a slogan. Post yourselves in, then come back to this post and add suggestions for our slogan to the comments.
Initiation to the VMG's
- Figure out a gang name for yourself.
- Take a pic of yourself (or just your hands) flashing the gang sign - middle fingers up, hands crossed at the wrists into a V and post it on your blog.
- Put the Vet button on somewhere on their blog (either in a single post or in the sidebar).
- Tell a story about the crappiest thing a Fertile ever said to you or something else vent-worthy.
- Add your name and the permalink to your Initiation Post to the comments of this post.
- Visit at least 5 other VMB's and give 'em a shout out by commenting on their blog and linking to them on yours.
- Come back here and comment on this post with your gang name and a permalink to your initiation post on your blog. (Edit from Izzio: This may or may not be the same as number five. Just be happy there is no goat involved in initiation.)
The Vet Song
written by Izzio and K-Smarty
(Spoken)
K-Smarty: Against the Fertiles we need every woman we got.
Izzio: Yeah, cuz we just don't belong there anymore.
K-Smarty: So how 'bout youse and me start us a gang.
Izzio: I'm down - let's call ourselves the Vet Mafia Bloggers.
Ms. Diagnosed: Count me in. I’ll design the graphics ‘cuz you know I gots those mad skilz.
K-Smarty: That's whats up! But what if you're a Vet and you manage to cross over?
Izzio: When you're a Vet, you stay a Vet...
(Song)
When you’re a Vet,
You’re a Vet all the way
From your first negative
to your last fertile egg.
If the shit hits the fan
You’ve got sisters around
Even if you’re a man!
You’re never disconnected!
You’re home with your own.
No baby is expected,
Even with no condoms, you’re well protected.
Then you are set
With a capitol V,
Which you’ll never forget
Even if you get a babeeee.
When you’re a Vet,
You stay a Vet!
We'll be pulling that gown down as tight as we’re able!
And when the dildocam takes a look up your snookie,
Your follies will tell you if it’s time for some AI or some nookie!
We'll be there for you as you fight for your chance.
When Fertiles don't get us, and don't get our ties
They're gonna flip, gonna flop, gonna drop just like flies.
It can be the saddest thing.
Girl, you’re a fighter,
So fuck Nuva ring!
Our Follistim pens clickin'.
Fertiles steer clear,
We're doped up on hormones and your ass needs kickin'!
With our keyboards we yell-
So don’t tell us, “Relax,”
Because we’ll give you hell.
Fertile girl, step aside!
Better stop breeding
Better run, better hide!
Some partners of Vets,
Have sperm straight from hell.
They can’t find their way,
Or they don’t swim so well.
So keep your bellies hidden.
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "Fertiles are forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!
Yeah, and we’re gonna beat
Every last insensitive Fertile
On the whole buggin' street!
'On the
Whole!
Ever!
Mother!
Lovin'!
Street!
Who are the Original Gangstas?
K-Smarty AKA Kymberli from I'm a Smart One
Ms. Diagnosed AKA Calliope from Creating Motherhood