Welcome to the Mafia

vet (noun) - an experienced person who has been through many battles
mafia (noun) - any small, powerful, or influential group in an organization or field; clique.
blogger (noun) - a person who keeps a Web log (blog) or publishes an online diary

Vet Mafia Bloggers (noun) - an embittered, but shrewdly humorous gangsta offshoot of the infertility blogging community who, in response to an assclown fertile, might say things like, "just know, I will cut a bitch."

Had a bad day and need the support of your posse? Do you just need to vent and get some of the anger out of your system? Founded by The Original Gangstas, the Vet Mafia Blog is a place where you can come to lay the bad shit out and know you'll have the understanding from people who know. Sarcastic wit and snarky comments about fertiles and infertility dominate this 'hood.

Basic VMB information:

• Colors: Wear to Make Aware pomegranate and black (to represent the infertility suckhole)
• Hand Sign: middle fingers up, hands crossed at the wrists into a V shape
• Turf: the RE's office, bars, home, the blogosphere
• Song: The Vet Song
• Slogan: ??? New Mafia memebers - we need your help with this

How to Join: Read Initiation to the VMBs and follow the instructions there.

How to Submit Posts to the Blog: This place belongs to all of us. If you'd like to post an entire entry to the blog, email it to us at theoriginalgangstas@gmail.com. Please let us know if you'd like to submit the entry anonymously.

Commenting: This community runs on comments; it's how we give and get support, which is the whole purpose for the creation of this space. Come if you need a laugh. Come if you need a hug. Come if you need to vent. Come if you need someone to cry with you. Come if you feel like you might cut a bitch. This is your gang, your group of biznatches who you know will have your back.


Our first mission as a group is to decide on a slogan. Post yourselves in, then come back to this post and add suggestions for our slogan to the comments.

Initiation to the VMG's

So you wanna be down? You need to Post In by going to your blog and creating a post with the following information:

1. Figure out a gang name for yourself.
2. Take a pic of yourself (or just your hands) flashing the gang sign - middle fingers up, hands crossed at the wrists into a V and post it on your blog.
3. Put the Vet button on somewhere on their blog (either in a single post or in the sidebar).
4. Tell a story about the crappiest thing a Fertile ever said to you or something else vent-worthy.
5. Add your name and the permalink to your Initiation Post to the comments of this post.
6. Visit at least 5 other VMB's and give 'em a shout out by commenting on their blog and linking to them on yours.
7. Come back here and comment on this post with your gang name and a permalink to your initiation post on your blog. (Edit from Izzio: This may or may not be the same as number five. Just be happy there is no goat involved in initiation.)
   

We'll add your blog to the Mafia Roll Call once you've posted yourselves in, bitchez.

The Vet Song

(to the tune of "The Jet Song" from West Side Story)

written by Izzio and K-Smarty

(Spoken)

K-Smarty: Against the Fertiles we need every woman we got.
Izzio: Yeah, cuz we just don't belong there anymore.
K-Smarty: So how 'bout youse and me start us a gang.
Izzio: I'm down - let's call ourselves the Vet Mafia Bloggers.
Ms. Diagnosed: Count me in. I’ll design the graphics ‘cuz you know I gots those mad skilz.
K-Smarty: That's whats up! But what if you're a Vet and you manage to cross over?
Izzio: When you're a Vet, you stay a Vet...

(Song)

When you’re a Vet,
You’re a Vet all the way
From your first negative
to your last fertile egg.

When you’re a Vet,
If the shit hits the fan
You’ve got sisters around
Even if you’re a man!

You’re never alone,
You’re never disconnected!
You’re home with your own.
No baby is expected,
Even with no condoms, you’re well protected.

Then you are set
With a capitol V,
Which you’ll never forget
Even if you get a babeeee.
When you’re a Vet,
You stay a Vet!

Oh, when the Vets fall in on the RE’s table,
We'll be pulling that gown down as tight as we’re able!
And when the dildocam takes a look up your snookie,
Your follies will tell you if it’s time for some AI or some nookie!

When betas fall or there's blood in your pants,
We'll be there for you as you fight for your chance.
When Fertiles don't get us, and don't get our ties
They're gonna flip, gonna flop, gonna drop just like flies.

When you’re a Vet
It can be the saddest thing.
Girl, you’re a fighter,
So fuck Nuva ring!

PIO in the rear,
Our Follistim pens clickin'.
Fertiles steer clear,
We're doped up on hormones and your ass needs kickin'!

Here come the Vets,
With our keyboards we yell-
So don’t tell us, “Relax,”
Because we’ll give you hell.

Here come the Vets,
Fertile girl, step aside!
Better stop breeding
Better run, better hide!

Some partners of Vets,
Have sperm straight from hell.
They can’t find their way,
Or they don’t swim so well.

We have no second pink lines,
So keep your bellies hidden.
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "Fertiles are forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!

Here come the Vets
Yeah, and we’re gonna beat
Every last insensitive Fertile
On the whole buggin' street!

'On the
Whole!
Ever!
Mother!
Lovin'!
Street!

THE VETS!

Who are the Original Gangstas?

Izzio AKA Io from Who Shot My Stork?

K-Smarty AKA Kymberli from I'm a Smart One

Ms. Diagnosed AKA Calliope from Creating Motherhood