The Vet Song

(to the tune of "The Jet Song" from West Side Story)

written by Izzio and K-Smarty

(Spoken)

K-Smarty: Against the Fertiles we need every woman we got.
Izzio: Yeah, cuz we just don't belong there anymore.
K-Smarty: So how 'bout youse and me start us a gang.
Izzio: I'm down - let's call ourselves the Vet Mafia Bloggers.
Ms. Diagnosed: Count me in. I’ll design the graphics ‘cuz you know I gots those mad skilz.
K-Smarty: That's whats up! But what if you're a Vet and you manage to cross over?
Izzio: When you're a Vet, you stay a Vet...

(Song)

When you’re a Vet,
You’re a Vet all the way
From your first negative
to your last fertile egg.

When you’re a Vet,
If the shit hits the fan
You’ve got sisters around
Even if you’re a man!

You’re never alone,
You’re never disconnected!
You’re home with your own.
No baby is expected,
Even with no condoms, you’re well protected.

Then you are set
With a capitol V,
Which you’ll never forget
Even if you get a babeeee.
When you’re a Vet,
You stay a Vet!

Oh, when the Vets fall in on the RE’s table,
We'll be pulling that gown down as tight as we’re able!
And when the dildocam takes a look up your snookie,
Your follies will tell you if it’s time for some AI or some nookie!

When betas fall or there's blood in your pants,
We'll be there for you as you fight for your chance.
When Fertiles don't get us, and don't get our ties
They're gonna flip, gonna flop, gonna drop just like flies.

When you’re a Vet
It can be the saddest thing.
Girl, you’re a fighter,
So fuck Nuva ring!

PIO in the rear,
Our Follistim pens clickin'.
Fertiles steer clear,
We're doped up on hormones and your ass needs kickin'!

Here come the Vets,
With our keyboards we yell-
So don’t tell us, “Relax,”
Because we’ll give you hell.

Here come the Vets,
Fertile girl, step aside!
Better stop breeding
Better run, better hide!

Some partners of Vets,
Have sperm straight from hell.
They can’t find their way,
Or they don’t swim so well.

We have no second pink lines,
So keep your bellies hidden.
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "Fertiles are forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!

Here come the Vets
Yeah, and we’re gonna beat
Every last insensitive Fertile
On the whole buggin' street!

'On the
Whole!
Ever!
Mother!
Lovin'!
Street!

THE VETS!